10 WAYS TO MAKE FRIENDS AS A SOLO TRAVELER
Shock. Confusion. Amazement. These are the reactions I get when I say I’m traveling solo. People think it’s brave, even crazy, to visit another country alone. But the truth is, I’m never really alone.
I meet new people every day of my travels. We explore together, cook together, drink together, and even end up traveling together. Sometimes it’s only for a couple hours, and sometimes it’s for entire weeks. And when it’s all said and done, I feel more of a sense of community than ever before.
But on my first solo trip, I struggled with this. I thought solo travel meant you had to experience everything alone. And while being comfortable doing things by yourself is both healthy and empowering, it felt like I was missing something. I was seeing all the sights and doing all the adventures, but they felt like a dream. They were special in the moment, but I couldn’t remember them immediately after. And then, I met Catherine.
Catherine was a woman from my hostel in Quito, Ecuador. One day, we went for a walk where we ended up having a deep conversation about life. As she was older than me and had much more experience traveling, I asked her, “Why do I feel this way?” She then told me something I will never forget. She said that the experiences we remember are the ones we share with other people. So I thought about it, and while I couldn’t remember the once-in-a-lifetime solo experience I had the previous day, I did remember the night I went clubbing with the hostel and danced salsa with the locals. I remembered walking through a waterfall and playing on a swing with my taxi driver. She was right. And now, seven years later, I remember that walk with Catherine.
So I encourage you to make friends on your travels any chance you get. It may feel intimidating at first, but with the following tips, it can become second nature. And in the process, you just might make memories that last a lifetime.
1. Pretend to be an extrovert.
If you saw me on my travels, you’d never guess that I was an introvert. I’m always around people, confidently making conversation and being outgoing. But I’ll let you in on a little secret, I’m full out faking it ‘til I make it. Everytime I approach someone new, my heart palpitates, my hands sweat, and I suddenly have to swallow 500 times a minute … but they don’t know that. When you travel, you can be anyone you want to be, so I choose to be an extrovert. In the words of Elyse Myers, “Do it scared.”
So next time you’re traveling, no matter how scared or nervous you are inside, remember that you can just pretend to be confident and outgoing and no one will ever be the wiser. Put your social crutches away like your phone and your book, walk right up to a complete stranger, and introduce yourself. And if you’re not sure what to say, you can always ask them the big 3: “How long are you traveling?” “Where are you traveling to?” “Where are you from?” Chances are, they’re just as nervous as you and will be relieved that you made the first move.
2. Join travel Facebook groups.
Before you depart, join Facebook groups centered around travel (My favorite is Girls Love Travel). Then, ask the group if anyone will be in the area you’re traveling to at the same time. This is a great way to guarantee new friends without the effort and anxiety of meeting people in the moment.
The key here is to follow through. Get their numbers (not something passive like their Instagram handle), get to know them ahead of time, maintain contact until your trip, and make concrete plans to hang out.
3. Stay in a hostel.
Even if you can afford a 5-star hotel, choose to stay in a hostel. Hostels are the #1 way to meet people during your travels because everyone is a traveler just like you, looking to make friends.
That’s why hostels are purposefully set up to make meeting people super easy. Stay in the dorm, and the moment you walk in, people will introduce themselves to you or ask if you’d like to join them for dinner. In my San Pedro de Atacama hostel, I met a girl in my dorm and ended up staying with her for a week at her apartment in Santiago. You can also sit at the hostel bar or in the common area and strike up a conversation with the person next to you. Next thing you know, they’ll be introducing you to all the people they met before you, and you’ll be walking around town with a group of 10. I’ve even invited the other person waiting at the check-in counter if they’d like to grab lunch after we’ve settled in. Some hostels also organize group outings and events, so be sure to check for that on their website or HostelWorld.
Pro tip: Bring a game. Without fail, anyone that has a game at the hostel bar ends up having the entire place joining. And this way, you don’t have to work to keep a conversation going but can just rely on the fun of the game to keep people laughing and enjoying time together. If you’re not sure what game to get, I recommend Pass the Pigs.
4. Join small group tours.
If you’ve read some of my other posts, you know I’m not a fan of expensive multi-day tours. However, small group day tours are the perfect way to make new friends while you travel. Spending hours together naturally creates a sense of camaraderie. Plus, there’s nothing that brings people together quite like a shared experience. And if your tour guide is any good, he/she will try to orchestrate friendships between group members.
Speaking of tour guides, don’t be afraid to make friends with yours. During a tour in Zimbabwe, my two tour guides mentioned that they live in Cape Town, so we ended up meeting up there a week later. We hung out for days, wandering through vineyards and beaches, and they even introduced me to their awesome group of friends. We still talk to this day.
5. Join free walking tours.
Every city has free walking tours available to give you a taste of the culture and history. And when it comes to making friends, these tours are a gold mine. Because in between each stop to check out an attraction, that’s right, you walk. This walking time is your way in. Simply ask one of the other attendees where they’re from or about their travels, and before you know it, the tour guide has to tell you to be quiet so he/she can continue.
At the end of the tour, ask your new friends if they’d like to join you for food or a drink in the neighborhood, and voila! A connection is made.
6. Strike up a conversation on the train, bus, or flight (or boat).
New friends can come at the most unexpected moments in your travels, so make sure you never waste an opportunity to get to know someone. On your flight, chat with the person seated next to you then get their number so you can meet up later. You’ll have a new friend before you even step foot in your destination. And instead of sleeping or listening to music on your long train or bus ride, you can use that time to get to know the people around you.
7. Participate in a language exchange program.
Though I’ve never personally done this, I’ve heard so many people recommend it that I had to include it. If you’re interested in improving your language skills, attend a language exchange event in the area you’re staying. You’ll be paired up with a local who’s practicing English, and the two of you will simply have a conversation, partly in their language and partly in English. This is a nice way to sharpen your communication and make a local friend at the same time. And as you continue to hang out, you can continue to help each other improve.
8. Cruise Tinder.
This may be an unpopular opinion, but you can use Tinder to meet people on your travels. While Tinder is meant for dating, it doesn’t mean you have to use it that way. Sometimes people just want some company or something to do. Just be clear in your profile that you’re looking for friends while you’re in town. The benefit of this is that most of the profiles will be locals, so you can not only meet someone from the area, but they can show you around places that tourists may not know about or recommend restaurants you never would have considered.
I used Tinder while I was in Peru, and I ended up spending the whole day with a local guy that showed me around and took me to some lesser known spots. I learned what it was like growing up there and living there, and he let me test my Spanish on him.
If you use Tinder to make friends on your travels, just make sure you’re safe about it. Always remain in populated, public places, let someone else know where you’re going, and trust your gut if someone makes you uncomfortable or seems off.
9. Connect on social apps.
Of course, you can also use more traditional social apps to meet people as well. I’ve highlighted some of the best below.
Meetup: Meetup is an app for group activities of similar interests. For example, if music is your thing, you can join a Meetup group at a concert in your area. I like to join hiking groups to meet people that share the same passion and stay a little safer on unknown trails. Don’t see a group yet for something you want to do? Create your own.
Bumble BFF: I can’t tell you how many people have told me they met their traveling buddy here. Bumble BFF is like a dating app for friendships. Match based on similar interests (hello, travel), and go from there. You can match on your trip, or you can get ahead of the game and make a friend at home that will want to do the trip with you.
Tripr & FlipTheTrip: While I have yet to personally try Tripr and FlipTheTrip, they both come well reviewed and have a greater focus on travelers. These social apps connect you with travelers heading to the same place at the same time as you. There’s also the option to connect with locals to meet up or ask for advice.
10. Be flexible.
I’ll leave you with this final piece of advice for making friends as a solo traveler: Be flexible. You’ll want to save some room in your itinerary for spontaneity in case a new friend invites you on an adventure.
These spur of the moment experiences always make for the best friendships. In Munich, I made friends with someone in my hostel who suggested a hike in a small town just outside the city called Garmisch-Partenkirchen. I got to explore a town I never would’ve considered on my own and even swam in a beautiful alpine lake. And I never would’ve had that experience if I was too rigid with my itinerary. I also did a last minute trip to Valparaíso, Chile with someone I met on my Galapagos cruise, and we made so many great memories that we remain friends to this day.
Solo travel, though rewarding, can bring up many fears and anxieties. Let me give you peace of mind so you can confidently travel on your own with a custom, in-depth travel itinerary. Contact me today to join the Kelley Goes Rogue travel program.